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# The Sneaky Stuff Is Already in the Books You're Reading Together
- URL: https://www.uwsdad.com/reading-the-room-stories-and-power/
- Published: 2026-10-11T10:00:33.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-11T10:00:32.000Z
- Description: A calm way to talk about fairness, flattery, and 'who's really in charge' using stories you already know.
- Author: John Ratcliffe-Lee
- Tags: newsletter, family, reading-the-room

[Monday is a school holiday](https://www.schools.nyc.gov/calendar/2026-2027-school-year-calendar?ref=uwsdad.com) — Italian Heritage/Indigenous Peoples' Day — which means most Upper West Side families are looking at three days and a kid with time on their hands. Here's a way to spend about ten minutes of it that doesn't need a screen, a plan, or a trip anywhere.

Somewhere this week, your kid is going to do something quietly strategic. Save the last cookie for the friend who has the good Legos. Go quiet right before asking for a sleepover. Tell the new kid at pickup exactly what they want to hear.

None of that is a red flag. It's just power — the small, everyday kind — and your kid is already fluent in noticing it, because they've been rehearsing it in every book, show, and playground drama since they could follow a plot. The useful move for a parent isn't to teach them something new. It's to ask about what they already clocked.

## A five-minute way to do this tonight

You don't need a new book. Pick one you already have, and ask about it in this order:

1. **Name the moment.** "Remember when \[character\] did \[thing\]?"
2. **Name the dynamic, plainly.** Not "that's a power move" — just "who was deciding what happened there?" or "who got left out of that?"
3. **Ask the fairness question, not the smart question.** "Was that fair?" beats "was that clever?" every time.
4. **Let them disagree with you.** Half the value is your kid arguing that the character was actually right.
5. **Land it on their world, not the book's.** "Has anything like that happened at school this week?"

## Three books you probably already have (or can borrow)

Three quick examples, none of them requiring you to have read the book recently:

- [***The Rabbit Listened* (Cori Doerrfeld)**](https://nypl.overdrive.com/media/3892398?ref=uwsdad.com)**.** A kid's block tower gets knocked down, and a parade of well-meaning animals rushes in with advice, jokes, and plans to rebuild — none of it helps. The rabbit just sits there.  
  
**What to notice:** every one of those "helpful" animals was deciding what the upset kid needed, without asking.  
  
**The question:** "Who actually got to decide what would help — the animals, or the kid?"
- [***Frindle* (Andrew Clements)**](https://nypl.overdrive.com/library/kids/media/17456?ref=uwsdad.com)**.** A kid invents a made-up word for "pen," and it spreads through the school faster than he can control, turning him into a local celebrity he never quite signed up for.  
  
**What to notice:** a reputation you didn't fully choose can still run your life for a while.  
  
**The question:** "What's something you're 'known for' at school right now — and did you pick that, or did it just happen?"
- [***The Giver* (Lois Lowry)**](https://nypl.overdrive.com/library/kids/media/574435?ref=uwsdad.com)**.** A community runs smoothly because a handful of Elders quietly decide everything — jobs, matches, memories — and everyone else just goes along, because going along feels safe.  
  
**What to notice:** the cost of a group's rules isn't always obvious to the people benefiting from the calm.  
  
**The question:** "In your friend group, who decides what's cool or not — and how do you know?"

That's it. No worksheet, no unit plan, no grade. Just a conversation, using a story you're probably reading or half-remembering already.

## What this is not

This isn't a curriculum, a reading list, or a claim that any of this "develops" a specific skill in your kid — we're not qualified to make that claim and wouldn't trust a newsletter that did. It's also not an endorsement of any "how to wield power" playbook as something to hand a child, and it isn't advice about what your kid's school should teach. It's one way to talk about a book you already have on the shelf.

## This weekend's takeaway

Pick one book already in the house — new or ancient, picture book or assigned reading — and ask the five questions above about one scene. That's the entire assignment. On a three-day weekend, it's also a better use of a rainy Monday afternoon than another hour of screens.

## One question back

**For the family, or the group chat:** what's a moment from a book or show your kid brought up on their own — not one you assigned — where somebody was clearly working an angle? What did your kid think of it? Hit reply; I read these, and the good ones become future issues.

**Want a version for your own weekend?** [Dad Brain is live](https://uwsdad.com/brain/?source=reading-the-room-issue) in web chat: seven days free, then $8/month. Ask it for a plan built around your actual Monday and double-check time-sensitive details before you go.

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**A note on sources:** The books referenced above (*The Rabbit Listened*, *Frindle*, *The Giver*) are named from general knowledge of these widely published, commonly read children's and middle-grade books; no plot detail here goes beyond what's on their publisher jacket copy, and no passages are quoted. The reading of "what to notice" in each is my own interpretation, not a claim about the author's intent, a school's curriculum, or any research finding.